The search for a place to call home
Home is where the heart is. But what happens when you’ve left your heart in many places?
A background tune for reading this newsletter:
I have a confession to make: I have itchy feet.
Ever since my first trip abroad in 2008, I’ve hopped on a flight to somewhere new at every chance I’d get. Whether a trip to a new city, to visit friends, or a larger move to start a new job or degree, I’ve never stayed in the same place for very long. I’m in constant movement, always seeking to explore — so much so that I even have the word tattooed on my shoulder.
This new season of life — one where movement has come to a halt — has really thrown me for a loop. And as an expat, the challenges that stillness has come with have caused a lot of stress and intense pangs of homesickness, leaving me questioning whether I should pack it up and move home.
Only problem is, I can’t figure out what “home” means to me.
I recently read a piece in The Atlantic about what moving house can do for happiness. As the queen of moving house — in 15 years I’ve lived in four states (Delaware, New York, Connecticut and California), three countries (the US, Thailand and the UK) and 12 different apartments or houses — I can tell you with certainty that the act of moving does not spark joy, but discovering, settling and learning to love a place in all its quirks is a reward reaped that I’d never trade.
There’s a word for the love of a place and it’s called “topophilia.” Topophilia is that vivid, emotional or sensory connection that you develop with a place, and I’ve learned firsthand that it can stay with you for long after you’ve left it.
You know that old phrase, “home is where the heart is?”
Well, my heart is in many places and at any given time; each one of them feels home for very specific and different reasons.
New York — Long Island’s South Shore specifically — will always be my first home. It’s where I grew up and where my family and oldest friends all still live. I’ve been away from it the longest, but whenever I make my way back to the city, I’m taken aback by how much my heart swells with pride and love for New York, in spite of its sounds, smells and intensity. I’m a New Yorker, I assert, and I always will be.
But then my mind wanders to my time in Los Angeles and I’m immediately transported to the warm sunshine and the sunkissed days of my 20s, living out my dream job by day and exploring the different pockets of the sprawling city at night. I blink, and I’m sitting on the Santa Monica bluffs — my personal safe and special place, where, for four years I went to watch a solo sunset at least once a week and reflect on how lucky I was that this...this was home.
And, though I haven’t been back to Bangkok since I left it more than 10 years ago, a part of me still yearns for the perfect boo pad pongali, eaten on the side of the road in Sukhumvit, on a plastic kiddie chair with a roll of toilet paper as a napkin. I can still clearly hear the sound of the woman who announces the BTS metro in my head, and would instantly trade in a London black taxi to hop on the back of a mototaxi to get from one end of the city to the other.
But for now? For now London is home, and it’s where I’ve been on and off for the last 6 years. It’s the longest I’ve been anywhere and I find myself fighting the itch to make a new home in a new city. It’s scary and exciting to conquer these feelings, but I’m still awestruck and feel infinitely lucky that I get to call this place filled with history, music and culture my home. And every time I glimpse the city’s skyline from the top of Primrose Hill, or walk down the Southbank with a friend and a pint in hand or wander into one of the many small, cobbled mews in Hackney or the Walthamstow Village, it feels like the day I first arrived all over again, and I’m reminded that I’m home. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be right now.
Will I be here forever? I don’t know. But even if I leave, I have peace of mind knowing I’ll have many homes to go back to, and even more new ones to make of my choosing.
xx
Sarah
Good Trip Advisor
Local’s Corner
The tropics are calling! This week we head to the clear blue waters of the British Virgin Islands in the Caribbean to check in with Sachkia Barnes, founder of WKND Mood, a sustainable loungewear brand that makes the linen robes of our dreams (and ships USPS for U.S.-based readers!)
Keep an eye on WKND Mood — Sachkia is dropping three new pieces in early June.
The song she currently has on repeat:
I have a love of Soca any time of the year. Right now I'm loving anything for Patrice Roberts so “Better Days” is on repeat.
Where she wants to travel next, post-COVID:
I'm looking forward to seeing my family who lives in Atlanta. It's been a full year and the longest I've ever gone not seeing them or not being on a plane.
The place she’s traveled to that she’d you like to go back to:
Bangkok is perhaps one of my favourite places to visit so far. The city never really sleeps and I loved the early morning when the "shifts" change and a new group of people are starting their day.
Her favorite local spot within a 15 minute walk of her apartment:
I'm biased. My husband owns Mellow Moods Cafe. It's a vegan/vegetarian eatery that serves Caribbean style vegetarian food. It's not your typical leafy vegetarian spot — the veggie lasagna on Wednesdays is my favourite.
Her favorite local-to-BVI snack or food she can't get enough of:
If you ever visit the BVI, you want to have Johnny cakes. It's like fried bread that you can have simply with cheese, or my favourite, Johnny cake and saltfish.
An ideal day for her in BVI (during non-COVID times):
If you have a friend with a boat, any day is a great day in the BVI. We are 60 islands, rocks and cays, so it's easy to have breakfast on one island and lunch on another, and I highly recommend ending the afternoon on White Bay, Jost Van Dyke. The white sand and idyllic turquoise water makes you feel like you are on a permanent vacation, for those few hours anyway.
Read all about it
This slideshow showing pics of little-seen views of historic buildings in NYC is pure 😍.
Anyone have a time machine to 1980s Italy?
